How to be a cool kid

I always wanted to know how to be so damn cool until a few days ago when I figured it out. Ever since I learned the secrets of awesomeness I have gotten so much totally sweet attention. If you want to be cool like me do the following:

A. You MUST get your hair as high in the front as possible.

B. Must always wear a collared shirt, of course with the collar up in the air.

C. Wear a 2nd collared shirt, also popped up.

D. This is what most people forget to do. Wear a third collared shirt popped up. Very necessary if you want to be cool.

E. Whatever article of clothing it is, you must always wear something pink. In my case I don't own a pink collared shirt so I borrowed my moms. It already smelled pretty so there was no need to wear cologne to attrack all the boys to the yard.

F. Always make cool hand signs. The more signs people don't understand the better. And you can also use those to stick into your butt.

I searched on the internet for fellow collar poppers who love being so damn cool. Here are some of the coooolest!

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9

See how totally cool they are? Why doesn't everyone just pop their collars? Maybe because it is totally homo.

I get mad seeing people with their collars popped. Makes them look even more cocky and stupid. I farted out a huge one when I saw the picture of the collar popped on a display. If I ever see someone with their name on their collar I am going to shit my pants again and jump on a sword.

It's been a week since my freshman year at WVU has ended. I miss it a lot. Home is really boring all the time. I miss my RA Kim(she is so sexy), the long hallway, and all the dust that would develop on my testicles. I am going to miss all the people, drinking with my boy Nic, butts, girls in duct tape thongs, and people thinking it is something cool to meet me.

I got a 2.1GPA. F in History 101, C in Communications in Contemporary Society, C in Sociology, and an A in Computer Science. Did worse than my last semester 2.6. But I had fun and fun is fun when it is fun, slut.

So what have I been doing at home? Nothing really until I start working again next week. Chilled in a big garage and worked on my new Jeep. Too bad it isn't really mine.

Went to B's family reunion with Mike at a really nice cabin on Friday. Tried to kill some coons, but it is too hard with a baseball bat. I also got to see my boy who teaches in Martinsburg, WV. All in all it was a decent weekend for not doing much.

Quick, guess who with the gay pose? Yeah. I hate those piss stains, too.

I started this on May 15th, and now it is May 16th - my 19th birthday. I got $30 from my mom on Friday with a message saying here's a cheesecake I probably won't see you until Tuesday. Birthdays are so useless anymore. For some reason I thought I would get a decent amount of money for my birthday to pay off my $400+ credit card bill, but I lied to myself. Damn.

I just got this email:

tim ocallaghan thought you might be interested in this Yahoo! Image Search result.

tim ocallaghan added this message:
i highly sugggest u post this somwhere on the site, i stumbled acrossed it and have had nightmares about IT ever since. imagine if u awoke and this IT was sitting in ur room just glaring at u! what the fuck!

What's that, Chris? That's my boy. Oh really, Coach? I love grown ass slut faces!

Happy Birthday to me. I spent my first hours of it typing to you slutty kids. I <3 You.