Decided to do the whole get on AOL Instant Messenger to look at my 270 buddies who aren't online and instead are using Facebook chat while taking a dump thing today. As soon as I signed on I was instant messaged and I dripped out a little poop due to excessive excitement. I thought I was just a pimp being on all these buddy lists but aparently it's just bots:

qtjd2435 you dirty aimbot whore. I just mentioned qtjd2435 in case someone searches qtjd2435 like I did and found no results. Now there will be results. The gig is up for you qtjd2435.

I really miss this site. I really like how my life is going. I won't be able to run for an elected office due to my buttcorn slut loving website content - FOX News would eat me alive. Brush your tongue. Stay positive. Buy guns and plenty of ammo. Listen to electronic music. I accidentally deleted all comments made after April 11 2007 trying to clean up the spam - I suck.

1. I think it would be really easy to make this website stop sucking (but will I stop sucking and do something about it?). Website revamp coming soon as long as I can keep this 4% motivation alive.
2. What do I do with buttcorn.com?
3. Who's ready for a 3-class-multiple-school-raging-reunion in 2014? I've been thinking about hosting something awesome after I found out the guy responsible doesn't give a shit:

It is actually March 30, 2010. I am going to act as if it is a day in September 2009 and date it accordingly. Why? Because that is the month I organized all of the pictures you are about to see. I get motivated and all excited to update the site... then I see a television, or a beer, or sunshine, or my friends, or my girlfriend, or a bed, or my penis and that's the end of that. As planned and wanted, my career path is computer based and after an 8 hour day involving a computer in some way or another I don't feel like being on one more - unless I'm getting paid (web design and hosting mostly). I've made $43.85 from Google adsense since 2008 and that doesn't cut it - I make that after a few hours of work.

I also blame Facebook for my lack of website posting. I don't add my life to Facebook like everyone else. I should, though, it is so much easier than the blog posting game. I'd have 20,000 pictures and tag everyone and be SOOO FREAKING COOOOL. People would comment and "like" my stuff, I'd get an erection, eat some buttcorn and pass out.

The pictures you are about to see are from multiple years and I don't even know what I am about to show you so let's get to it before some juice drips out of B's poopie butt. I'll never stop picking on you man - I have too many pictures of you.

I moved out of my moms house to a river front spot on the Wheeling Island. It's sweet - we don't pay bills and eat steaks while staring at the Ohio river.

I was way cooler in 2008 than in 2009 according to Facebook birthday wall posts. Thanks, assholes.

I still have a beautiful girlfriend. Watched my buddies spend hundreds at Dave & Busters to get shit you can find at your local Goodwill.

The first picture I took on my iPhone 3GS while in a charter bus drinking MD 20/20. This picture should be on a huge poster ad for Natural Light... might want to put a don't drink and drive at the bottom - rumor has it Natty Light cans with ice stuck to them give you a better chance of getting a DUI.

My man Dumplinsky on the beach and doing some fishing. I caught a fish with a baby pole from woot!

I love fat guy shirtless bus drivers that are passed out. Why? Because you can beat their ass easily and steal the bus!!! Went to Florida sometime in 2008 to visit friends. West Virginia is Wild and Wonderful! White water rafting down the New River was fun, too. Went to New York City to take the crapiest picture ever taken - the orange trash cans make for a nice back drop. Is no standing a secret code that really means no parking? I don't get it. I'll stand where I want.

This wasn't texted to me but I found it quite hilarious. Part 1 and Part 2. I'M SO H6RNE9X and I like wood!!!!!!!!!! I don't like Irish Car Bombs with shot glasses that don't fit in the glass.

I have been to Las Vegas two times on business since my last post. Here's pictures from my first time when I stayed at the Bellagio for a Motorola Expo: 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06 - 07 - 08 - 09 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16. I stayed at the new Aria Resort in the City Center the 2nd time. But that hasn't happened yet because it is only September 2009 and I do that until March 2010. I'm The Time Traveler's Wife Blogger quit asking questions and suck it.

It was cool being on the South Side in Pittsburgh when the Pittsburgh Penguins won the Stanley Cup. It wasn't as cool being on the South Side, hammered and hungry, with a drunken friend and the pizza you just bought folded into pieces. I didn't get a picture when it was dropped or when we ate it with rocks all over it.

Here's pictures from Ocean City Maryland 2008: 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06 - 07 - 08 - 09 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17. Side Note: I got arrested on the last night and was in jail all night (over 12 hours) for walking out with that totally awesome MEGARITA. Had to drive back 6 months later for court and took one picture of the sunset.

I love getting wasted in Pittsburgh Pirates Luxury Suite Boxes. Been to several Pirate games - too bad they blow. Atleast the city produces some pretty nice rainbows.

I don't know how I feel about taking a piss with a mirror next to me but I think I like it.

Go to drive a demo vehicle home to show police departments. I'd go 45 in a 65 and wait for someone to pass me. Everyone would stay behind then one person would get some balls and pass. It was quite enjoyable being an asshole. My proector blew up so now I have an awesome speaker holder. Mass amounts of free strawberries are awesome - little gay vests not so much. Always buckle up your booze.

St. Patricks Day 2008 - Don't remember but it looks like some pretty straight gay shit went down: 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06

Not sure about this one. It looks like we were going to do some wood charcoal grilling and make paper outfits while eating sourdough pretzels.

Been to several Pittsburgh Steeler games including the AFC Championship game. Here are some more pictures I'll keep typing so I can continue to link them okay? Okay. Those last seats were too close for comfort but pretty freaking AWESOME! I like tequila.

The only time in history I am smiling and showing my teeth. I was pretty excited to see this guy. Number one nose picker?

This was a terrible attempt at a post but I needed to unload a shitload of pictures onto your face. I may change the way I do this site - maybe just thumbnail pictures and no talking - or very minimal talking because I am not funny anymore and this just took over 3 hours to do. Blow me. Eat buttcorn. Shit in your bed and love it.

Hey sniffers of buttcorn, remember me? No? I typed toddmorrison.com into the address bar to remind me of how pathetic I am and it did a search instead, and the description displayed inspired me to post:

In my next post, hopefully this month in a few years, I will post and discuss everything that has gone on since March 2008. But for now, I want to show you a website I made for web design class in my last semester of college.

Quick breakdown: The teacher has a Doctorate in Library Sciences (never officially saw the degree but I was told by some reliable individuals) and sucks. Her professional background was Cobol programming early in her career and then teaching. I could go on and on but this professor became my majors core teacher (Networking, Advanced Visual Basic, Web Design, Management Information Systems, etc.) and really knew nothing. The students pretty much taught themselves or failed her all essay tests in every class she taught.

This specific website assignment I am about to show was to be a website about something specific for a target audience. I did it about myself and my audience was college males in my class (No females in class besides teacher). The teacher and myself didn't get along very well because she knew she sucked and I let her and the department chair know how I felt about the crappy education I was receving in the classes I cared about. I made this website to spark controversy:

Click here to view the website I made - Read through it and look at the pictures on the About Me page.

After a month when the teacher finally got around to grading them she called me outside one day to tell me she isn't accepting my site and to make a new one. I am leaving out a lot of details of what went down.

Click here to view the new version of the website

After doing that the department chair had me come to their office to discuss it. They thought it was hilarious but informed me that I could get sued for harassment.

I got an A in every class this teacher taught.

I know this post sucked, they all have for a while. I hope I haven't lost my art of posting buttcornerific greatness. There's thousands of pictures to go through for the big one coming up. Stay tuned - or just come back in a year and you might see an update only if your breath smells like ass.

I still plan on updating this site don't you worry - just been really busy with life and all that good stuff. Yearbook Yourself is pretty sweet, about as equally sweet as a buttcorn on rye with a ceasar side salad and a website no one probably reads anymore.

I know, your saying out loud right now, "Holy shit, not only is buttcorn the tastiest thing ever but T-Mo's slut-ass posted again and it didn't take him 6 months this time!" That's right, but don't get too excited - it will make you bleed.

Holy shit eating crapface that is buttcornalicious.

Made my fourth appearance to Charleston, WV for the Division II WVIAC basketball tournament. The girls lost before I even got there and the men got beat in their 2nd game.

One thing that upset us was the fact that they didn't sell beer at the civic center due to WVIAC voting against it or something incredibly un-righteous, dude. We derived a simple solution to the problem at hand: buy a soda/pop/buttcorn, drink it, and make sure you sneak in enough drinks for you and friends. Optionally, you can bring a trash bag, if you got love for the janitorial staff.

We attempted another beeramid. It was very promising and I'd say we went through 10 cases of Nastty Light but people were in and out and didn't always bring their cans back. My man Reid contributed a lot when he wasn't passed out.

Well, here we are again. This is the longest I have gone without posting since the creation of this .com in 2000. Miss me, little slutbags? I miss having something to say and time to put it on here. While I was looking for pictures to post I laughed when I found one of me wearing shorts, pissing outside - haven't done that in months.

The picture to the left pretty much sums of what I have been up to - started my second to last semester of college, got an internship at the global operations center for a law firm making $10 an hour while earning 3 credits for school, and still working at Riesbeck's bagging up those groceries on Sundays. Speaking of school, here's my Fall 2007 grades. 3.33, baby!

I have some really bad news: Buttcorn has been discontinued due to it causing Pin Worms. In the small print on the back of the can there was a disclaimer talking about possible side-effects, so no one involved in manufacturing the marvelous product can be held liable. Regretfully, I got a severe case of it and had to find treatment. The doctors just laughed at me when I told them my itchy anus and diarrhea were caused by buttcorn pinwormization - so I was forced to find alternate pinworm removing options. It was thick and tasty, kinda like buttcorn. I sure did lick that badboy clean.

I always have the problem of not wanting to type and you never read so here's my usual solution: my pretty sweet cubicle at my internship, basement computing, B's new friend, B's snot and/or puke due to buttcorn overdosage, B and I after we blew some place up?, the coolest Christmas tree in town, Dominos is looking for dome - apply within, my fast downloading, ghetto stand SNES playage, black McGraw, I guess I was wasted, Laura's wonderland, some good pizza, meatspin world record holder, passed out neck pain, homecoming, retard in the back, first anniversary, mike chugging with added celebration, piss-writing, sharkey hurt my gator...

It has been over three months since my last post - a new personal record of sucking pretty bad. Where have I been? Here and there, working a lot, enjoying my girlfriend, and sitting next to my laptop with no desk to put it on with a mouse. Doing anything, besides downloading, with no desk or mouse makes it hard to type and manipulate pictures. The 110 inch screen and high definition projector(it blew a few weeks ago - $409 to fix AKA not happening) are also a good reason for my unexistance. Being 21 is a little convenient, too. I suck - sorry, so get over it with an ice cold buttcorn refreshment, sluts.

Went to Cedar Point for the first time a few weeks ago. Definitely a sweet roller coaster experience with some pretty sick rides. I went with Courtney, Matt and Becky. None of us being rich, I found the cheapest priced motel close to the park where we would spend two glorious nights. The Mecca Motel Resort & Dream Land. Fully equipped with an air conditioning, bathroom mirrors with possible hidden wonders, bed sheets with no elastic-band-thingy that holds the sheet to the mattress, continental breakfast, ultra-secure door locks with numerous dead bolts and chains, the greatest miniature golf that we never got to play, a swimming pool with excessive crud in it that we didn't pay extra for because we are rebels when we chug buttcorn too fast, small person friendly shower, an awesome view of the course, it said free HBO but all I could find was fuzzy Regis and Kelly. We learned that you get what you pay for except when it comes to buttcorn. Good thing we came prepaired and had a bible to protect us. I made a little brochure for the Mecca Motel but forgot to mention the train tracks 100 yards away where trains enjoy passing and tooting every 10-15 minutes.