I am still alive, I think...

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My first time at Cedar PointIt has been over three months since my last post - a new personal record of sucking pretty bad. Where have I been? Here and there, working a lot, enjoying my girlfriend, and sitting next to my laptop with no desk to put it on with a mouse. Doing anything, besides downloading, with no desk or mouse makes it hard to type and manipulate pictures. The 110 inch screen and high definition projector(it blew a few weeks ago - $409 to fix AKA not happening) are also a good reason for my unexistance. Being 21 is a little convenient, too. I suck - sorry, so get over it with an ice cold buttcorn refreshment, sluts.

Went to Cedar Point for the first time a few weeks ago. Definitely a sweet roller coaster experience with some pretty sick rides. I went with Courtney, Matt and Becky. None of us being rich, I found the cheapest priced motel close to the park where we would spend two glorious nights. The Mecca Motel Resort & Dream Land. Fully equipped with an air conditioning, bathroom mirrors with possible hidden wonders, bed sheets with no elastic-band-thingy that holds the sheet to the mattress, continental breakfast, ultra-secure door locks with numerous dead bolts and chains, the greatest miniature golf that we never got to play, a swimming pool with excessive crud in it that we didn't pay extra for because we are rebels when we chug buttcorn too fast, small person friendly shower, an awesome view of the course, it said free HBO but all I could find was fuzzy Regis and Kelly. We learned that you get what you pay for except when it comes to buttcorn. Good thing we came prepaired and had a bible to protect us. I made a little brochure for the Mecca Motel but forgot to mention the train tracks 100 yards away where trains enjoy passing and tooting every 10-15 minutes.

It is actually June 6th, six days late on my monthly posting. It says May 31st and it is going to forever say May 31st because it can - because I wrote it and this website is named after me (although it will soon be buttcorn.com - I was just kidding, but I actually just checked into it and it is available... so I just bought it. It's for sale now for a million if anyone is interested call me - but not you I like Pussy Boy who called my cell but I forgot to save the voicemail). So I am a pretty huge liar. I feel bad. I'm sorry. I told you this because I care... and I want you to continue to love me and buy my buttcorn.

Since we last chatted... or actually, since I last typed and you didn't read and just clicked random picture links I attended two Pittsburgh Pirates Games. Both games the Bucs won and had a scheduled fireworks display after the game. First game I went with these guys, ate some enjoyable wings with my boy, saw McNeil and Meagan, and chilled in McNeils seats. Here's a couple shots of the field from the first game. Here are eight pictures of the fireworks from PNC Park, yeah that is right I am showing you eight pictures of PNC Park fireworks night. PNC Park Fireworks display baseball pirates. Yeah, I did that for search engine purposes I think. Oh yeah, Crosby sucked me but I was the only one able to take the pic and it didn't work out very well.

Spring Break 2007 MiamiMy buddy was giving me a ride home from West Liberty on the Friday that started our spring break. He briefly mentioned Miami, Florida. I briefly thought about it. We decided to go. Saturday night we stayed in Morgantown, WV, and on Sunday night we were in Gainesville, FL staying with our buddy Steve from high school. His apartment complex was so beautiful! Here he is exposing genitals to an unsuspecting friend. On Monday we left for Miami, which was like 6 hours of driving in the sunshine state. We arrived at Lyndi's in Little Haiti sometime that night. She lived in the back end of a house and it is just about the size of this picture. The bed, one guy on the beer spilled floor(due to us), our luggage, and the cute kitty cat were all that would fit so Lyndi spent a lot of her time in the luxurious frog pond passing football to herself while making funny faces. Not only had I never been to Miami before but I have also never take a shit with a cat - I bet he knew I had some buttcorn. Interesting bathroom tiles, too. Lunch was delicious with broccoli and Blue Moon in her back yard.

I don't remember specific dates of each happening so shut up and just click the links without reading like you always do, looking for buttcorn sluts.

We went to a pretty cool bar in Little Haiti owned by a very nice Cuban man. Jay got hammered and tried to rob this one dude but they just danced instead.

Who needs real college?

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Bert Esparza has the answer to college!

Man, I wasted three years of my life going to a real college. If only I got this email my senior year of high school... A work/life experience degree in just two weeks with NO STUDYING!!! I'd be making millions right now instead of drinking buttcorn with my girlfriend and telling you about it! Hey princess, I bought you a case of buttcorn for the weekend. *Online Kiss*

I'm too scared to call that number, they might trick me into something I'd regret, like chugging buttcorn, dude. Or I am just lazy and one of you should call, record it, and send it to me. Or you can just read this and shut up and read this, too, while I call you a stupid slutface. You're still reading and I am still watching Chris stick his finger into your butt looking for some cornage. You have a prettybutt, though. Grade A+ RBC that is.

You probably think I am lying or believe me completely... but I have nothing better to talk about besides buttcorn.

I try a lot to talk about other things like where I am sending my FAFSA but I just delete them and put up new Recycled buttcorn ads. Oh that is kinda cute with a hint of sexy... WHAT?! buttcorn, ButtCorn, and new BUTTCORN chewables!!!!

I'm going to Charleston, WV for the WVIAC Division II basketball tournaments tomorrow until Sunday. I will be sure to chug buttcorn and take numerous pictures of it.

Mr. Crack and the kiddiesIt has been a while since I have told you it has been a while since my last post. But here we are again my friends who bong buttcorn.

I will get to that picture you see on the left in a little bit; that is from the end of the journey NP Laura and I partook in. If you still read my shit, then you know about the marijuana field found close by us North Park dwellers. If you don't remember and care, I talked about it in this post somewhere in the middle. Laura and I woke up before 3PM for this journey and that shows we... The ToddMorrison.com I-Team Investigations decided to check out where we believed the totally illegal plants were growing. I took a bunch of pictures of nothing to seem important and feel apart of my I-Team Investigations team. This is the first time they let me tag along on an ultra-mission. But I shit a grenade in my pants and had to whipe with a stick and they made me go home and sit on my computer and wait. Laura stepped in a puddle that triggered a stick pooper shooter 350z arrow.

"It was only 6:23PM and getting darker as the ToddMorrison.com I-Team Investigators stumbled onto what everyone is calling the biggest crop of dirty grass ever supplied in the history of the mean streets of Wheeling, West Virginia. The pictures do not show much but no one really cares about some loose hay covering up fresh dirt. We couldn't get a direct quote from owner Todd Morrison but it sure did smell like shitnades in the area."

- Peter Thampton - MSNBCCC News Correspondent

Sexy isn't he, dad?It is actually Monday, November 13th right now, 12:20am at the time of me typing 12:20am. It will be hours or maybe days after that when I actually submit this post. I have been slacking on the whole website updating once a month business because getting straight A's in college is hard; and I can't do that either because the FDA now tells me that steady eating of buttcorn reduces the ability for one to underdstand college algebra and its crappy existence.

I haven't posted because:

1.) I got a new laptop from woot.com and have been slowingly not typing real words on my website AKA just playing Scarface - The World is Yours, NHL 07, NBA Live 07, FIFA 07, Madden 07, and Counter-Strike: Source on the 10 pound laptop equipped with an XBOX 360 controller. Here are some pictures of my old and new laptop because I know you are so curious, slutface. Did I mention that I am addicted to woot.com? Add 5 more boxes to this picture since it was taken a month ago.

2.) Recently met a cute girl with soft lips that can't burp and doesn't like buttcorn but she's still pretty damn sweet. Thousands of nudie pictures of us are now in the ToddMorrison.com Uncensored section. Ofcourse, it is going to cost you $25 a month for membership to that section.

3.) WVU lost to Louisville but hopefully basketball season will create riots that I won't be able to videotape. But someone told me they are going to suck this year so I am just going to cry and eat shit. (It's now November 26th and I think WVU basketball is 3-0)

I suck

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I have never not posted for a whole month and I am not going to start now.

Todd: Here is my post.
You: (while fingering your butt for some corn) Dude, this isn't a real post.
Todd: Why not?
You: (while eating a crispy buttcorn dingleberry┬╣) You don't have any links to pictures...
Todd: Oh, my bad.
You: You also don't have a main picture for your post like you always do.
Todd: I knew I forgot something:

I bet Linsly and Wheeling Jesuit University are proud to see the homosexuality in this picture

dingleberry┬╣ - A delinquent partial turd which grasps anal shrubery causing brownish crust to accumulate in ones underwear.

This post brought to you by BCEA aka Butt Corn Eaters Anonymous

Once a month fruit punch

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Steelers Game Group Shot - Dietz's butt smells like yellow lollypops with a hint of jared juice and mike milkYeah it has been a while; I lied in the last post when I said I was going to post in a few days. I wonder if a semicolon was the correct way to say those last two sentences that just started this awesome post.

My boy Dietz hit me up on the celly and I said "back" as my ending phone call saying instead of "one". "One" was totally played out before white kids even started saying it. Trust me. Oh yeah, before I backed he invited me to a Steelers game due to me being awesome and him having four tickets with cancelled original plans. Here are a few pictures in addition to the one to the left of your right eye. Beer was expensive but delicious, crack heads who like RAZR phones and have a kid and lose their phone are interesting to chat with while he buys your boy a beer, Dietz is the man, game was fun but preseason, Steeler's won, forget who they played, had a good time.

WHEELING, W.Va. -- Wild rides and water parks are coming to Wheeling, along with about 1,000 new jobs.

The first phase of the 100-acre Wild Escape Theme Park could open as early as next July, but that timetable is fairly optimistic given the amount of work that has to be done, Ohio County officials said.

The park is being developed by Crystal Mountain LLC of Omaha, Neb., said Greg Stewart with the Ohio County Development Authority.

Cabela's operates a store and distribution center near Wheeling and the theme park is to be built on land near the store.

A groundbreaking ceremony was held Wednesday after members of the authority agreed to move forward on a $200 million development agreement.

The park would include thrill rides, an indoor and outdoor water park, ongoing entertainment and retail opportunities, said Ohio County Commission President David Sims.

The indoor park would be open year-round and is estimated to be bigger than the Mall of America complex in Bloomington, Minn., Commissioner Randy Wharton said.

A 500-700 room hotel also is planned.

Officials hope the park will rival that of Kennywood Park, which began business in 1898 as a trolley park in West Mifflin, Pa., and evolved into the Pittsburgh-area's leading amusement park.

I have a huge post lined up but it's the last day of the month and I have to work at 4PM today so your getting this instead.

I didn't believe it when I heard about this theme park coming close to the area. Then I see it on the news and hear all this shit. The night I saw it on the news I wanted to see the blue prints for it and stuff and looked for a website. I found this one. The website is horribly designed and all the plans/things to be made are drawn in a cartoony format.

I decided to investigate the website and see who its owners were. If you go here you can do a search of the domain. The domain is registered by Domains by Proxy, Inc. Here's what the main page of DomainsByProxy.com says:

It's that time of the month to make another post to prevent bleeding, complaining, and poop eating that isn't buttcorn plopletts.

The lcd screen on my most recent camera that was around $120 broke. I bought a cheaper one that time knowing it was going to break because I suck and can't afford $300 ones weekly. I just bought a refurbished Olympus from eBay for $150, I think. I keep forgetting to put it in my pocket because my last camera has been broke since summer started. I am telling you this because this post is lacking personal pictures due to forgetting my camera or spending too much of my time searching the internet for my mangirl.

Everyone has been watching the World Cup and talking about Ronaldo and Ronaldinho and everyone else I don't feel like looking up their names for the correct spelling. While I am home for the summer I have basic cable, not extended basic like everyone else gets who doesn't already have digital cable/satellite. That means I get channels 2 - 25. I magically get channels 43 - 56 and some other odd ending channels. ESPN is in the 30's so I am not fortunate enough to get to watch any of the games. NO ESPN!? You ask. Yeah no ESPN, and a gay dad; no wonder why I know nothing about the 1989 World Series or who Dan Marino's first interception went to. I think sometimes games are on ABC but I don't care, slut. So to compensate and feel like I fit in, I go online and look at pictures of girls in team apparel.

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