May 16, 2005

How to be a cool kid

Be cool, pop your collar like a faggot!

I always wanted to know how to be so damn cool until a few days ago when I figured it out. Ever since I learned the secrets of awesomeness I have gotten so much totally sweet attention. If you want to be cool like me do the following:

A. You MUST get your hair as high in the front as possible.

B. Must always wear a collared shirt, of course with the collar up in the air.

C. Wear a 2nd collared shirt, also popped up.

D. This is what most people forget to do. Wear a third collared shirt popped up. Very necessary if you want to be cool.

E. Whatever article of clothing it is, you must always wear something pink. In my case I don't own a pink collared shirt so I borrowed my moms. It already smelled pretty so there was no need to wear cologne to attrack all the boys to the yard.

F. Always make cool hand signs. The more signs people don't understand the better. And you can also use those to stick into your butt.

I searched on the internet for fellow collar poppers who love being so damn cool. Here are some of the coooolest!

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9

See how totally cool they are? Why doesn't everyone just pop their collars? Maybe because it is totally homo.

I get mad seeing people with their collars popped. Makes them look even more cocky and stupid. I farted out a huge one when I saw the picture of the collar popped on a display. If I ever see someone with their name on their collar I am going to shit my pants again and jump on a sword.

It's been a week since my freshman year at WVU has ended. I miss it a lot. Home is really boring all the time. I miss my RA Kim(she is so sexy), the long hallway, and all the dust that would develop on my testicles. I am going to miss all the people, drinking with my boy Nic, butts, girls in duct tape thongs, and people thinking it is something cool to meet me.

I got a 2.1GPA. F in History 101, C in Communications in Contemporary Society, C in Sociology, and an A in Computer Science. Did worse than my last semester 2.6. But I had fun and fun is fun when it is fun, slut.

So what have I been doing at home? Nothing really until I start working again next week. Chilled in a big garage and worked on my new Jeep. Too bad it isn't really mine.

Went to B's family reunion with Mike at a really nice cabin on Friday. Tried to kill some coons, but it is too hard with a baseball bat. I also got to see my boy who teaches in Martinsburg, WV. All in all it was a decent weekend for not doing much.

Quick, guess who with the gay pose? Yeah. I hate those piss stains, too.

I started this on May 15th, and now it is May 16th - my 19th birthday. I got $30 from my mom on Friday with a message saying here's a cheesecake I probably won't see you until Tuesday. Birthdays are so useless anymore. For some reason I thought I would get a decent amount of money for my birthday to pay off my $400+ credit card bill, but I lied to myself. Damn.

I just got this email:

tim ocallaghan thought you might be interested in this Yahoo! Image Search result.

tim ocallaghan added this message:
i highly sugggest u post this somwhere on the site, i stumbled acrossed it and have had nightmares about IT ever since. imagine if u awoke and this IT was sitting in ur room just glaring at u! what the fuck!

Here's the picture. I don't think it beats my mangirl, though. She can't be beat. If I woke up and IT was glaring at me I would get wood then crap on IT. Can anyone top my mangirl? I don't think it can be done.

What's that, Chris? That's my boy. Oh really, Coach? I love grown ass slut faces!

Happy Birthday to me. I spent my first hours of it typing to you slutty kids. I <3 You.

Posted by Todd at 02:15 AM | Comments (16)

May 03, 2005

I bought a new camera

ReceiptIf my website isn't working or I am cameraless I feel lost. Since my visitors(you(but I love you anyway(and love putting parenthesis inside parenthesis))) are cheap bastards I went out and bought one from Best Buy. I charged it, and will worry about paying for it when the bill comes. My freshman year in college is about over and there was no way in hell that I wasn't going to capture it.

Instead of going to History class, which I have already failed and gave up on, I went to my boys house to do nothing. We go to his room and there are tons on tennis balls on his bed. His first instinct was to hump them. Then he placed his balls in all of his roommates rooms. After that balls were everywhere and the battle of the balls had just begun.

After a short battle and a few wounded soldiers we headed up the hill to McNeils with a basket of balls. By the way, I like saying balls if you haven't noticed, slut. View the video [1.01MB].

Yes. I have a lot of pictures. 30 more to go.

This last Friday I went to a party and it was $10 if you prepaid or like $15-$20 at the door. Girls(i took the hat from the girl on the right then gave it away) got in free of course. It wasn't bad. Tons of people showed up to get wasted. Was hard to move or get beer after a while. I guess strippers were supposed to come but that was a trick to get all the horny little-dicked I just paid $10 to drink 2 beers of Milwaukee's Best and get wasted and look at boobies totally awesome kids to come. The fire department was called at 12am and the party was put to an end. I got wasted, but I could have drank for 2 more hours.

I was thinking about doing a funny captioned picture for every new post. Only reason I am thinking that is because I took the best picture at that party and captioned everyone in it. If I can remember to do that then maybe I will have a new cool slutty thing to add to my website. Probably not. I need new mangirl pictures. It is so damn fine.

Who doesn't use Q-Tips? Everyone does, right? I guess some people don't and when they do it is nasty.

Everyone ready for a joke? The answer is two.

I like rainbows. But only the non-homosexual bumper sticker rainbows. If that makes any sense at all. I don't think it does. Damnit.

On Saturday McNeil had a party. It wasn't going to well because everyone was tired from Derby Days and sleeping. Then a bunch of random people started showing up and then there was a big party with a fully equipped slip n' slide.

Here's some pictures I took of people going down it.

Add some soap and a little beer.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - Need more soap - Check out this move - 7 - This kid called his dad and told him he just went down a slide wasted

These guys walked up to me with complete excitement. Bastards don't even know my name.

Anyone still looking for a place to live in Morgantown?

Roommate needed. 344 Stewart Street. $375/month plus electric (gas and water included). 3 girls living in it upstairs. Separate bedroom downstairs. Guy or girl needed.

spalz235: tell them ill give them head if they take it (girl or guy)

She said she was just kidding. But she is desperate to get rid of it. SO who knows, kids. You can instant message her or call her at (330)219-7059. Her name is Allyson.

Also, if you are looking for cell phone accessories there is a banner to the left, under the mangirl. Save 10% on items and shipping.

Posted by Todd at 03:59 PM | Comments (13)