After a month when the teacher finally got around to grading them she called me outside one day to tell me she isn't accepting my site and to make a new one. I am leaving out a lot of details of what went down.

Click here to view the new version of the website

After doing that the department chair had me come to their office to discuss it. They thought it was hilarious but informed me that I could get sued for harassment.

I got an A in every class this teacher taught.

I know this post sucked, they all have for a while. I hope I haven't lost my art of posting buttcornerific greatness. There's thousands of pictures to go through for the big one coming up. Stay tuned - or just come back in a year and you might see an update only if your breath smells like ass.

Holy shit eating crapface that is buttcornalicious.

Made my fourth appearance to Charleston, WV for the Division II WVIAC basketball tournament. The girls lost before I even got there and the men got beat in their 2nd game.

One thing that upset us was the fact that they didn't sell beer at the civic center due to WVIAC voting against it or something incredibly un-righteous, dude. We derived a simple solution to the problem at hand: buy a soda/pop/buttcorn, drink it, and make sure you sneak in enough drinks for you and friends. Optionally, you can bring a trash bag, if you got love for the janitorial staff.

We attempted another beeramid. It was very promising and I'd say we went through 10 cases of Nastty Light but people were in and out and didn't always bring their cans back. My man Reid contributed a lot when he wasn't passed out.

The picture to the left pretty much sums of what I have been up to - started my second to last semester of college, got an internship at the global operations center for a law firm making $10 an hour while earning 3 credits for school, and still working at Riesbeck's bagging up those groceries on Sundays. Speaking of school, here's my Fall 2007 grades. 3.33, baby!

I have some really bad news: Buttcorn has been discontinued due to it causing Pin Worms. In the small print on the back of the can there was a disclaimer talking about possible side-effects, so no one involved in manufacturing the marvelous product can be held liable. Regretfully, I got a severe case of it and had to find treatment. The doctors just laughed at me when I told them my itchy anus and diarrhea were caused by buttcorn pinwormization - so I was forced to find alternate pinworm removing options. It was thick and tasty, kinda like buttcorn. I sure did lick that badboy clean.

I always have the problem of not wanting to type and you never read so here's my usual solution: my pretty sweet cubicle at my internship, basement computing, B's new friend, B's snot and/or puke due to buttcorn overdosage, B and I after we blew some place up?, the coolest Christmas tree in town, Dominos is looking for dome - apply within, my fast downloading, ghetto stand SNES playage, black McGraw, I guess I was wasted, Laura's wonderland, some good pizza, meatspin world record holder, passed out neck pain, homecoming, retard in the back, first anniversary, mike chugging with added celebration, piss-writing, sharkey hurt my gator...

Went to Cedar Point for the first time a few weeks ago. Definitely a sweet roller coaster experience with some pretty sick rides. I went with Courtney, Matt and Becky. None of us being rich, I found the cheapest priced motel close to the park where we would spend two glorious nights. The Mecca Motel Resort & Dream Land. Fully equipped with an air conditioning, bathroom mirrors with possible hidden wonders, bed sheets with no elastic-band-thingy that holds the sheet to the mattress, continental breakfast, ultra-secure door locks with numerous dead bolts and chains, the greatest miniature golf that we never got to play, a swimming pool with excessive crud in it that we didn't pay extra for because we are rebels when we chug buttcorn too fast, small person friendly shower, an awesome view of the course, it said free HBO but all I could find was fuzzy Regis and Kelly. We learned that you get what you pay for except when it comes to buttcorn. Good thing we came prepaired and had a bible to protect us. I made a little brochure for the Mecca Motel but forgot to mention the train tracks 100 yards away where trains enjoy passing and tooting every 10-15 minutes.

Since we last chatted... or actually, since I last typed and you didn't read and just clicked random picture links I attended two Pittsburgh Pirates Games. Both games the Bucs won and had a scheduled fireworks display after the game. First game I went with these guys, ate some enjoyable wings with my boy, saw McNeil and Meagan, and chilled in McNeils seats. Here's a couple shots of the field from the first game. Here are eight pictures of the fireworks from PNC Park, yeah that is right I am showing you eight pictures of PNC Park fireworks night. PNC Park Fireworks display baseball pirates. Yeah, I did that for search engine purposes I think. Oh yeah, Crosby sucked me but I was the only one able to take the pic and it didn't work out very well.

I don't remember specific dates of each happening so shut up and just click the links without reading like you always do, looking for buttcorn sluts.

We went to a pretty cool bar in Little Haiti owned by a very nice Cuban man. Jay got hammered and tried to rob this one dude but they just danced instead.

Man, I wasted three years of my life going to a real college. If only I got this email my senior year of high school... A work/life experience degree in just two weeks with NO STUDYING!!! I'd be making millions right now instead of drinking buttcorn with my girlfriend and telling you about it! Hey princess, I bought you a case of buttcorn for the weekend. *Online Kiss*

I'm too scared to call that number, they might trick me into something I'd regret, like chugging buttcorn, dude. Or I am just lazy and one of you should call, record it, and send it to me. Or you can just read this and shut up and read this, too, while I call you a stupid slutface. You're still reading and I am still watching Chris stick his finger into your butt looking for some cornage. You have a prettybutt, though. Grade A+ RBC that is.

You probably think I am lying or believe me completely... but I have nothing better to talk about besides buttcorn.

I try a lot to talk about other things like where I am sending my FAFSA but I just delete them and put up new Recycled buttcorn ads. Oh that is kinda cute with a hint of sexy... WHAT?! buttcorn, ButtCorn, and new BUTTCORN chewables!!!!

I'm going to Charleston, WV for the WVIAC Division II basketball tournaments tomorrow until Sunday. I will be sure to chug buttcorn and take numerous pictures of it.

I will get to that picture you see on the left in a little bit; that is from the end of the journey NP Laura and I partook in. If you still read my shit, then you know about the marijuana field found close by us North Park dwellers. If you don't remember and care, I talked about it in this post somewhere in the middle. Laura and I woke up before 3PM for this journey and that shows we... The ToddMorrison.com I-Team Investigations decided to check out where we believed the totally illegal plants were growing. I took a bunch of pictures of nothing to seem important and feel apart of my I-Team Investigations team. This is the first time they let me tag along on an ultra-mission. But I shit a grenade in my pants and had to whipe with a stick and they made me go home and sit on my computer and wait. Laura stepped in a puddle that triggered a stick pooper shooter 350z arrow.

"It was only 6:23PM and getting darker as the ToddMorrison.com I-Team Investigators stumbled onto what everyone is calling the biggest crop of dirty grass ever supplied in the history of the mean streets of Wheeling, West Virginia. The pictures do not show much but no one really cares about some loose hay covering up fresh dirt. We couldn't get a direct quote from owner Todd Morrison but it sure did smell like shitnades in the area."

- Peter Thampton - MSNBCCC News Correspondent

I haven't posted because:

1.) I got a new laptop from woot.com and have been slowingly not typing real words on my website AKA just playing Scarface - The World is Yours, NHL 07, NBA Live 07, FIFA 07, Madden 07, and Counter-Strike: Source on the 10 pound laptop equipped with an XBOX 360 controller. Here are some pictures of my old and new laptop because I know you are so curious, slutface. Did I mention that I am addicted to woot.com? Add 5 more boxes to this picture since it was taken a month ago.

2.) Recently met a cute girl with soft lips that can't burp and doesn't like buttcorn but she's still pretty damn sweet. Thousands of nudie pictures of us are now in the ToddMorrison.com Uncensored section. Ofcourse, it is going to cost you $25 a month for membership to that section.

3.) WVU lost to Louisville but hopefully basketball season will create riots that I won't be able to videotape. But someone told me they are going to suck this year so I am just going to cry and eat shit. (It's now November 26th and I think WVU basketball is 3-0)

Todd: Here is my post.
You: (while fingering your butt for some corn) Dude, this isn't a real post.
Todd: Why not?
You: (while eating a crispy buttcorn dingleberry¹) You don't have any links to pictures...
Todd: Oh, my bad.
You: You also don't have a main picture for your post like you always do.
Todd: I knew I forgot something:

dingleberry¹ - A delinquent partial turd which grasps anal shrubery causing brownish crust to accumulate in ones underwear.

My boy Dietz hit me up on the celly and I said "back" as my ending phone call saying instead of "one". "One" was totally played out before white kids even started saying it. Trust me. Oh yeah, before I backed he invited me to a Steelers game due to me being awesome and him having four tickets with cancelled original plans. Here are a few pictures in addition to the one to the left of your right eye. Beer was expensive but delicious, crack heads who like RAZR phones and have a kid and lose their phone are interesting to chat with while he buys your boy a beer, Dietz is the man, game was fun but preseason, Steeler's won, forget who they played, had a good time.

Officials hope the park will rival that of Kennywood Park, which began business in 1898 as a trolley park in West Mifflin, Pa., and evolved into the Pittsburgh-area's leading amusement park.

I have a huge post lined up but it's the last day of the month and I have to work at 4PM today so your getting this instead.

I didn't believe it when I heard about this theme park coming close to the area. Then I see it on the news and hear all this shit. The night I saw it on the news I wanted to see the blue prints for it and stuff and looked for a website. I found this one. The website is horribly designed and all the plans/things to be made are drawn in a cartoony format.

I decided to investigate the website and see who its owners were. If you go here you can do a search of the domain. The domain is registered by Domains by Proxy, Inc. Here's what the main page of DomainsByProxy.com says:

The lcd screen on my most recent camera that was around $120 broke. I bought a cheaper one that time knowing it was going to break because I suck and can't afford $300 ones weekly. I just bought a refurbished Olympus from eBay for $150, I think. I keep forgetting to put it in my pocket because my last camera has been broke since summer started. I am telling you this because this post is lacking personal pictures due to forgetting my camera or spending too much of my time searching the internet for my mangirl.

Everyone has been watching the World Cup and talking about Ronaldo and Ronaldinho and everyone else I don't feel like looking up their names for the correct spelling. While I am home for the summer I have basic cable, not extended basic like everyone else gets who doesn't already have digital cable/satellite. That means I get channels 2 - 25. I magically get channels 43 - 56 and some other odd ending channels. ESPN is in the 30's so I am not fortunate enough to get to watch any of the games. NO ESPN!? You ask. Yeah no ESPN, and a gay dad; no wonder why I know nothing about the 1989 World Series or who Dan Marino's first interception went to. I think sometimes games are on ABC but I don't care, slut. So to compensate and feel like I fit in, I go online and look at pictures of girls in team apparel.

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The past few years my birthdays just have not been like I wished they were. Somestimes a complete let down, other times just a wtf? who cares it is only a day I was born go back to work I want to sleep all day. Last year I completely forgot it was my birthday until later that night when it hit me while driving with a friend. But not this year, this year I had Facebook on my side. No longer do I have to sign onto AOL Instant Messenger and put "Today is my birthday" and see how many people wish me a happy one. Thanks to Facebooks awesome email announcements as soon as I dialed up to my grandfather's internet account I was delighted with fulfilling emails saying people have written on my wall.

I do believe this is my first birthday while being an addicted nothing-else-to-do facebooker for life. I have seen other people go through birthdays on facebook, but nothing is more totally-insta-awesome like seeing my wall posts jump from 30 some to a whopping 59. I can never be that cool again until next year. THANK YOU FACEBOOK!!!

For my birthday I also added google ads. I am not allowed to tell you to click them for that will make me a few cents, and I also cannot tell you to click that Download Google Pack thing because I get $2 if you do dowload it for the first time. The ads are mostly about toilets because I told them I poop 23 times a day and they agreed to let me advertise with them because pooping is cool or something. I don't do it because it is cool, I do it because I love the rush. When it comes down to it, I just think they just like my recycled butt corn.

And oh yeah, if you don't remember this then read it.

Finally a word on what was up:

Date: Tuesday, May 16, 2006 12:24 PM
Name: Glynis
Email Address: gl***s_****rd@hotmail.com
URL:
Comments:

Yeah, that story was kind of a flop, if you know what I mean. I don't think it ever really got off the shelf. I'm the mean boom-op for PBS who was drug to the infamous Grant Ave. against my will and my better judgment. You were, however, a great subject. :) Shooting Morantown at night, though, is tricky and our camera equipment wasn't up to par--even if it did look fancy. Good luck with your campaign.

First, you sluts owe me about $300 to cover the ticket charge and AA meetings I had to go to. I remember I had to close my savings account to pay for that underage ticket shit. Then I had to fold up envelopes and sweep the streets of Morgantown for hours. All of this for you and your video that never came out of the damn camera. That girl in the picture probably ate it she was scary and you are scared of her because she bit your leg once. Second, I remember saying First, send me a copy of that shit so I can not feel so used; I wore a penis suite to a football game once and no one even has the video from that. I can't live life this way, man. Third, if I pointed the arrow to the right person(you), then you look like the nice man massaging my anal tubulator not the scary boom mic man. Or that might have been the scary girl I just got a crush on 24 seconds ago. She is def checking me out there. I got her number later that night. Anyway I hate you, but love you for the follow up comment; my life has been standing still watching PBS waiting for my one moment of glory. I can now piss on fresh laundry again with ease. Thank you, Glynis.