qtjd2435 you dirty aimbot whore. I just mentioned qtjd2435 in case someone searches qtjd2435 like I did and found no results. Now there will be results. The gig is up for you qtjd2435.

I really miss this site. I really like how my life is going. I won't be able to run for an elected office due to my buttcorn slut loving website content - FOX News would eat me alive. Brush your tongue. Stay positive. Buy guns and plenty of ammo. Listen to electronic music. I accidentally deleted all comments made after April 11 2007 trying to clean up the spam - I suck.

I also blame Facebook for my lack of website posting. I don't add my life to Facebook like everyone else. I should, though, it is so much easier than the blog posting game. I'd have 20,000 pictures and tag everyone and be SOOO FREAKING COOOOL. People would comment and "like" my stuff, I'd get an erection, eat some buttcorn and pass out.

The pictures you are about to see are from multiple years and I don't even know what I am about to show you so let's get to it before some juice drips out of B's poopie butt. I'll never stop picking on you man - I have too many pictures of you.

I moved out of my moms house to a river front spot on the Wheeling Island. It's sweet - we don't pay bills and eat steaks while staring at the Ohio river.

I was way cooler in 2008 than in 2009 according to Facebook birthday wall posts. Thanks, assholes.

I still have a beautiful girlfriend. Watched my buddies spend hundreds at Dave & Busters to get shit you can find at your local Goodwill.

The first picture I took on my iPhone 3GS while in a charter bus drinking MD 20/20. This picture should be on a huge poster ad for Natural Light... might want to put a don't drink and drive at the bottom - rumor has it Natty Light cans with ice stuck to them give you a better chance of getting a DUI.

My man Dumplinsky on the beach and doing some fishing. I caught a fish with a baby pole from woot!

I love fat guy shirtless bus drivers that are passed out. Why? Because you can beat their ass easily and steal the bus!!! Went to Florida sometime in 2008 to visit friends. West Virginia is Wild and Wonderful! White water rafting down the New River was fun, too. Went to New York City to take the crapiest picture ever taken - the orange trash cans make for a nice back drop. Is no standing a secret code that really means no parking? I don't get it. I'll stand where I want.

This wasn't texted to me but I found it quite hilarious. Part 1 and Part 2. I'M SO H6RNE9X and I like wood!!!!!!!!!! I don't like Irish Car Bombs with shot glasses that don't fit in the glass.

I have been to Las Vegas two times on business since my last post. Here's pictures from my first time when I stayed at the Bellagio for a Motorola Expo: 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06 - 07 - 08 - 09 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16. I stayed at the new Aria Resort in the City Center the 2nd time. But that hasn't happened yet because it is only September 2009 and I do that until March 2010. I'm The Time Traveler's Wife Blogger quit asking questions and suck it.

It was cool being on the South Side in Pittsburgh when the Pittsburgh Penguins won the Stanley Cup. It wasn't as cool being on the South Side, hammered and hungry, with a drunken friend and the pizza you just bought folded into pieces. I didn't get a picture when it was dropped or when we ate it with rocks all over it.

Here's pictures from Ocean City Maryland 2008: 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06 - 07 - 08 - 09 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17. Side Note: I got arrested on the last night and was in jail all night (over 12 hours) for walking out with that totally awesome MEGARITA. Had to drive back 6 months later for court and took one picture of the sunset.

I love getting wasted in Pittsburgh Pirates Luxury Suite Boxes. Been to several Pirate games - too bad they blow. Atleast the city produces some pretty nice rainbows.

I don't know how I feel about taking a piss with a mirror next to me but I think I like it.

Go to drive a demo vehicle home to show police departments. I'd go 45 in a 65 and wait for someone to pass me. Everyone would stay behind then one person would get some balls and pass. It was quite enjoyable being an asshole. My proector blew up so now I have an awesome speaker holder. Mass amounts of free strawberries are awesome - little gay vests not so much. Always buckle up your booze.

St. Patricks Day 2008 - Don't remember but it looks like some pretty straight gay shit went down: 01 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 05 - 06

Not sure about this one. It looks like we were going to do some wood charcoal grilling and make paper outfits while eating sourdough pretzels.

Been to several Pittsburgh Steeler games including the AFC Championship game. Here are some more pictures I'll keep typing so I can continue to link them okay? Okay. Those last seats were too close for comfort but pretty freaking AWESOME! I like tequila.

The only time in history I am smiling and showing my teeth. I was pretty excited to see this guy. Number one nose picker?

This was a terrible attempt at a post but I needed to unload a shitload of pictures onto your face. I may change the way I do this site - maybe just thumbnail pictures and no talking - or very minimal talking because I am not funny anymore and this just took over 3 hours to do. Blow me. Eat buttcorn. Shit in your bed and love it.

After a month when the teacher finally got around to grading them she called me outside one day to tell me she isn't accepting my site and to make a new one. I am leaving out a lot of details of what went down.

Click here to view the new version of the website

After doing that the department chair had me come to their office to discuss it. They thought it was hilarious but informed me that I could get sued for harassment.

I got an A in every class this teacher taught.

I know this post sucked, they all have for a while. I hope I haven't lost my art of posting buttcornerific greatness. There's thousands of pictures to go through for the big one coming up. Stay tuned - or just come back in a year and you might see an update only if your breath smells like ass.

Holy shit eating crapface that is buttcornalicious.

Made my fourth appearance to Charleston, WV for the Division II WVIAC basketball tournament. The girls lost before I even got there and the men got beat in their 2nd game.

One thing that upset us was the fact that they didn't sell beer at the civic center due to WVIAC voting against it or something incredibly un-righteous, dude. We derived a simple solution to the problem at hand: buy a soda/pop/buttcorn, drink it, and make sure you sneak in enough drinks for you and friends. Optionally, you can bring a trash bag, if you got love for the janitorial staff.

We attempted another beeramid. It was very promising and I'd say we went through 10 cases of Nastty Light but people were in and out and didn't always bring their cans back. My man Reid contributed a lot when he wasn't passed out.

The picture to the left pretty much sums of what I have been up to - started my second to last semester of college, got an internship at the global operations center for a law firm making $10 an hour while earning 3 credits for school, and still working at Riesbeck's bagging up those groceries on Sundays. Speaking of school, here's my Fall 2007 grades. 3.33, baby!

I have some really bad news: Buttcorn has been discontinued due to it causing Pin Worms. In the small print on the back of the can there was a disclaimer talking about possible side-effects, so no one involved in manufacturing the marvelous product can be held liable. Regretfully, I got a severe case of it and had to find treatment. The doctors just laughed at me when I told them my itchy anus and diarrhea were caused by buttcorn pinwormization - so I was forced to find alternate pinworm removing options. It was thick and tasty, kinda like buttcorn. I sure did lick that badboy clean.

I always have the problem of not wanting to type and you never read so here's my usual solution: my pretty sweet cubicle at my internship, basement computing, B's new friend, B's snot and/or puke due to buttcorn overdosage, B and I after we blew some place up?, the coolest Christmas tree in town, Dominos is looking for dome - apply within, my fast downloading, ghetto stand SNES playage, black McGraw, I guess I was wasted, Laura's wonderland, some good pizza, meatspin world record holder, passed out neck pain, homecoming, retard in the back, first anniversary, mike chugging with added celebration, piss-writing, sharkey hurt my gator...

Went to Cedar Point for the first time a few weeks ago. Definitely a sweet roller coaster experience with some pretty sick rides. I went with Courtney, Matt and Becky. None of us being rich, I found the cheapest priced motel close to the park where we would spend two glorious nights. The Mecca Motel Resort & Dream Land. Fully equipped with an air conditioning, bathroom mirrors with possible hidden wonders, bed sheets with no elastic-band-thingy that holds the sheet to the mattress, continental breakfast, ultra-secure door locks with numerous dead bolts and chains, the greatest miniature golf that we never got to play, a swimming pool with excessive crud in it that we didn't pay extra for because we are rebels when we chug buttcorn too fast, small person friendly shower, an awesome view of the course, it said free HBO but all I could find was fuzzy Regis and Kelly. We learned that you get what you pay for except when it comes to buttcorn. Good thing we came prepaired and had a bible to protect us. I made a little brochure for the Mecca Motel but forgot to mention the train tracks 100 yards away where trains enjoy passing and tooting every 10-15 minutes.

Since we last chatted... or actually, since I last typed and you didn't read and just clicked random picture links I attended two Pittsburgh Pirates Games. Both games the Bucs won and had a scheduled fireworks display after the game. First game I went with these guys, ate some enjoyable wings with my boy, saw McNeil and Meagan, and chilled in McNeils seats. Here's a couple shots of the field from the first game. Here are eight pictures of the fireworks from PNC Park, yeah that is right I am showing you eight pictures of PNC Park fireworks night. PNC Park Fireworks display baseball pirates. Yeah, I did that for search engine purposes I think. Oh yeah, Crosby sucked me but I was the only one able to take the pic and it didn't work out very well.

I don't remember specific dates of each happening so shut up and just click the links without reading like you always do, looking for buttcorn sluts.

We went to a pretty cool bar in Little Haiti owned by a very nice Cuban man. Jay got hammered and tried to rob this one dude but they just danced instead.

Man, I wasted three years of my life going to a real college. If only I got this email my senior year of high school... A work/life experience degree in just two weeks with NO STUDYING!!! I'd be making millions right now instead of drinking buttcorn with my girlfriend and telling you about it! Hey princess, I bought you a case of buttcorn for the weekend. *Online Kiss*

I'm too scared to call that number, they might trick me into something I'd regret, like chugging buttcorn, dude. Or I am just lazy and one of you should call, record it, and send it to me. Or you can just read this and shut up and read this, too, while I call you a stupid slutface. You're still reading and I am still watching Chris stick his finger into your butt looking for some cornage. You have a prettybutt, though. Grade A+ RBC that is.

You probably think I am lying or believe me completely... but I have nothing better to talk about besides buttcorn.

I try a lot to talk about other things like where I am sending my FAFSA but I just delete them and put up new Recycled buttcorn ads. Oh that is kinda cute with a hint of sexy... WHAT?! buttcorn, ButtCorn, and new BUTTCORN chewables!!!!

I'm going to Charleston, WV for the WVIAC Division II basketball tournaments tomorrow until Sunday. I will be sure to chug buttcorn and take numerous pictures of it.

I will get to that picture you see on the left in a little bit; that is from the end of the journey NP Laura and I partook in. If you still read my shit, then you know about the marijuana field found close by us North Park dwellers. If you don't remember and care, I talked about it in this post somewhere in the middle. Laura and I woke up before 3PM for this journey and that shows we... The ToddMorrison.com I-Team Investigations decided to check out where we believed the totally illegal plants were growing. I took a bunch of pictures of nothing to seem important and feel apart of my I-Team Investigations team. This is the first time they let me tag along on an ultra-mission. But I shit a grenade in my pants and had to whipe with a stick and they made me go home and sit on my computer and wait. Laura stepped in a puddle that triggered a stick pooper shooter 350z arrow.

"It was only 6:23PM and getting darker as the ToddMorrison.com I-Team Investigators stumbled onto what everyone is calling the biggest crop of dirty grass ever supplied in the history of the mean streets of Wheeling, West Virginia. The pictures do not show much but no one really cares about some loose hay covering up fresh dirt. We couldn't get a direct quote from owner Todd Morrison but it sure did smell like shitnades in the area."

- Peter Thampton - MSNBCCC News Correspondent

I haven't posted because:

1.) I got a new laptop from woot.com and have been slowingly not typing real words on my website AKA just playing Scarface - The World is Yours, NHL 07, NBA Live 07, FIFA 07, Madden 07, and Counter-Strike: Source on the 10 pound laptop equipped with an XBOX 360 controller. Here are some pictures of my old and new laptop because I know you are so curious, slutface. Did I mention that I am addicted to woot.com? Add 5 more boxes to this picture since it was taken a month ago.

2.) Recently met a cute girl with soft lips that can't burp and doesn't like buttcorn but she's still pretty damn sweet. Thousands of nudie pictures of us are now in the ToddMorrison.com Uncensored section. Ofcourse, it is going to cost you $25 a month for membership to that section.

3.) WVU lost to Louisville but hopefully basketball season will create riots that I won't be able to videotape. But someone told me they are going to suck this year so I am just going to cry and eat shit. (It's now November 26th and I think WVU basketball is 3-0)

Todd: Here is my post.
You: (while fingering your butt for some corn) Dude, this isn't a real post.
Todd: Why not?
You: (while eating a crispy buttcorn dingleberry¹) You don't have any links to pictures...
Todd: Oh, my bad.
You: You also don't have a main picture for your post like you always do.
Todd: I knew I forgot something:

dingleberry¹ - A delinquent partial turd which grasps anal shrubery causing brownish crust to accumulate in ones underwear.

My boy Dietz hit me up on the celly and I said "back" as my ending phone call saying instead of "one". "One" was totally played out before white kids even started saying it. Trust me. Oh yeah, before I backed he invited me to a Steelers game due to me being awesome and him having four tickets with cancelled original plans. Here are a few pictures in addition to the one to the left of your right eye. Beer was expensive but delicious, crack heads who like RAZR phones and have a kid and lose their phone are interesting to chat with while he buys your boy a beer, Dietz is the man, game was fun but preseason, Steeler's won, forget who they played, had a good time.